Discipline

I’d begun to confront a typical aspect about myself that I have never quite examined closely.

No, rest assured this is not about some body part of mine.

I have never been a very disciplined person. I have started on projects that I have plain abandoned. I feel no need to list them here. I just try to remember what they were and try not to repeat my past mistakes or failings.

In the past couple of weeks, I have begun writing a story I feel strongly about. In the beginning, it was a rush. I had all these ideas that I needed to type out. Which I did.

I started on the story structure, fleshed out as much as I could about the characters I would talk about in the story and read and read and read up on writing techniques from websites. Right now, I am getting into the second chapter but details in the first still elude me.

But lately, as I begun to workout in my room and with my job, I’ve been distracted from this project of mine. It’s not a very good feeling. As I have only just started with the exercises I feel really winded after that and all I want to do then is unwind and ‘unplug’. Watch movies, watch TV, surf the Net, read webcomics and not write the story. I’d been going out lately as friends from out of town want to meet up. For the past two weeks, I have also been really busy at work, staying late to finish things up.

I am starting to feel a distance between myself and the story I am trying to write. Also, something else distracts me from the story I am writing. I felt that I needed to write more as a form of practice in order to better write my main project. So I have started to write more random pieces and to put some of these pieces on this blog. These ‘side’ writings, to me, are distractions as well, although they are a necessary distraction.

Talking about work I have also accepted a job from a colleague to design a ‘look’ for her new business. This too, will take up some of my night hours.

I realize in the end, these are just distractions and I’m making up excuses for myself.

This is a promise to myself. I gotta have more discipline if I want to see the book to its deserved end.

It’s hard going though.