Clappers

Some people rob for pleasure. Some rob because it’s there. I’m a cop and I was working on a theft case one day and I needed to interview the owner of a school bell store where the theft happened.

This is the interview.

Me:

So I hear there’s been a robbery.

Owner:

Yessir.

Me:

What was stolen?

Owner:

My clappers.

Me:

Your clappers?

Owner:

Yeah, you know, those things inside the bells which make them clang.

Me:

The clangers?

Owner:

Yessir. We call them clappers in the business.

Me:

*A clapper caper*

Owner:

Whazat?

Me:

Nothing sir. Now, can I have the facts? What kind of clappers was stolen on this clapper caper?

Owner:

They were copper clappers.

Me:

And where were they kept?

Owner:

In the closet.

Me:

Uh huh. You have any ideas who might have taken the copper clappers from the closet?

Owner:

Well, I just fired a man. He swore he’d get even.

Me:

What was his name?

Owner:

Claude Cooper.

Me:

*Nodding* You think he’d-

Owner:

That’s right. I think Claude Cooper copped my copper clappers kept in the closet.

Me:

You know where this Claude Cooper is from?

Owner:

Yeah. Cleveland.

Me:

*Nodding* That figures.

Owner:

What makes it worse, they were clean.

Me:

Clean copper clappers.

Owner:

That’s right.

Me:

Why do you think Cleveland’s Claude Cooper would cop your clean copper clappers kept in your closet?

Owner:

Only one reason.

Me:

What’s that?

Owner:

He’s a kleptomaniac.

Me:

Who first discovered that the copper clappers were copped.

Owner:

My cleaning woman, Clara Clifford.

Me:

*Nodding* That figures. Now, let me see if I got the facts straight here. Cleaning woman Clara Clifford discovered your clean copper clappers kept in a closet were copped by Claude Cooper, the kleptomaniac from Cleveland. Now, is that about it?

Owner:

One other thing.

Me:

What’s that?

Owner:

If I ever catch Claude Cooper, the kleptomaniac from Cleveland who copped my clean copper clappers kept in a closet.

Me:

Yes?

Owner:

I’ll clobber him.